No one had ever prepared me to support someone through an eating disorder. Becoming a pillar of strength for my child through her recovery from Anorexia Nervosa had been the hardest thing I had ever had to do. With my scientific, logical, and analytical mind, trying to approach my child felt like trying to enter a foreign country without a passport: impossible.
But what choice does a parent have when confronted by this crisis? The reality is that there is no choice but to fight. Fight for the life of your child, and do whatever it takes to save them. This situation helped me discover my inner strength, and our family became stronger; both physically and mentally.
I decided to share my daughter’s perspective, being now in fully recovered, and helping others facing mental challenges in our community. Although she was at a very low place and severely sick, she embraces the challenge she had, and demonstrates the saying “It is not in the stars to hold our destiny but in ourselves.”
The following excerpt is a portion of an essay written by my daughter, reflecting her experience through her eating disorder:
“Fifteen years old and miserable, struggling under the pressure of unattainable beauty standards. That was me. No matter what I tried, or how much of myself I changed, it was never enough. I could never be pretty enough, skinny enough— good enough. Growing up with social media influences, these became daily thoughts. I was so infatuated with the idea of perfection that nothing else seemed to matter. I stopped eating, and the constant ache of hunger served as a reminder for what I was striving for. Without the proper nutrients, my body slowly began to shut down. It started off as small changes, barely noticeable; with small strands of hair falling out, and little motivation to do the things that once brought me joy. However, it only got worse from there. After a couple of months, my brain wouldn’t function properly, and the small strands of hair that once fell had turned into giant clumps on the bathroom floor. While I had many people to support me, nobody could truly pull me out of that situation but my own self. I realized that I am the master of my fate, and that if I ever really wanted to achieve happiness, the first thing I needed to change was my mentality. I willed myself to start eating again, taking small steps that slowly built up into healthy habits for recovery. The doctors that I once ignored became my voice of reason, and I was eventually considered a “low risk” patient at the eating disorder clinic, being able to regain a lot of freedom in my life. I got my life back, and now, I was the one in control— not my eating disorder. Although my experience with anorexia changed my physical body, it changed my spirit even more. I became much more strong willed, and was able to see value in myself. Even though it was the hardest thing I’ve had to overcome, I would never undo any of it; as with this profound struggle, I discovered the importance of a strong soul.”