We feel festive during the holiday season, and consider the holidays as an encore to relaxation. With that being said, when coping with an eating disorder, holidays can mean facing stress and challenges around food. To eating disorder victims, food is perceived as an enemy. Therefore, its availability and abundance are a solid ground for battle. Moreover, tendency toward problematic behaviors such as food restriction, fasting, uncontrolled eating, binging, purging, or use of laxatives is common.
Remember that regardless of the stage your child is in their journey for recovery, social events can be triggering.
In my experience, here are a few useful tips that made my life easier:
- Plan, plan, plan and then plan more. The more your child knows and accepts, the more likely it is that family gathering will be successful. Schedule for your child a session with their therapist prior to the family gathering to aid with coping strategies to alleviate some of the stress. Let them know what food will be served, and what they can eat and how much. If needed, bring your own dish and place it in front of your child, and plan who would sit next to them at the table. Establish a space that can be used in the event anxiety needs to be handled and so forth. Even select clothing ahead of time.
- Let the attendees know ahead of time that you are coping with your child’s eating disorder, and therefore topics such as dieting, eating habits, and exercising are prohibited. Do not engage in discussions around how your child eats, or how they look. Acceptance and compassion towards the sufferer are most welcome.
- Feel OK to say NO. You will be invited to multiple events and activities. It is important that you find the right balance between the events you attend, and these you decline, in order to guarantee your child’s mental health and fulfillment. Consult with your child about the extent of activities, and find the sweet spot that is OK for both of you.
- Always keep in mind that your child did not choose to be ill, and you are there to support them in enjoying the holiday season.
- Remember that victims of an eating disorder may feel uncomfortable eating with a large amount of people. In the case that your child does not eat the sufficient amount during an event, make sure you plan a meal the moment you get home. Skipping ANY meal is never an option.
- Always keep in mind that your child did not choose to be ill, and that you are there to support them. This includes weekdays, weekends and the holiday season